As I approach my birthday in a couple of weeks, I've been mulling over some thoughts in my head. The biggest regret that I have is that I am not a parent. I'm at that point in my life where age, life situation, and other factors are starting my own personal biological clock ticking down to zero.
I mention this because I've been able to see some amazing things recently. I spent Memorial Day weekend at my brother's house, and got to spend a lot of time with my niece and nephew. My other brother spent the weekend with my parents, and so all the grand kids were in the same town for the long weekend, and I (among others), had a wonderful time. My niece is the oldest of the three (she turns 6 in August), and her unconditional love for me created a feeling that is hard to recreate. Now I know this is because I'm the favorite uncle, but I can't help but wonder just how much love exists for her from her parents and grandparents because of that direct connection. I have to say that I am jealous.
Which is probably why I have volunteered to fill in for my other brother's nanny for a week. She had a family emergency, and has to leave the country for two weeks. So I am going to LA (one benefit of unemployment is the ability to drop everything on the spur of the moment) for a week to be the fill in for my 5 month old nephew Sean. I really do love him to death, and am looking forward to trading the Fresno heat for some trips to the beach in Santa Monica. To repeat my theme, Sean's parents just love that little guy like crazy. Which makes visiting them an absolute treat, because it gives me a glimpse of possibilities in my own life, I just need to get busy and start dating, become boyfriend / girlfriend, ask her to marry me, make sure no one chickens out before the big day, and finally start a family. Whew, it's tiring just thinking about it.
The thing that really made me think about unconditional love was something I saw at the food court at Costco this week. Now let me just say that cruising Costco for the food samples, plus a Polish Dog at checkout makes a very filling lunch, but I digress. There was a lady there, about my age, with her mother. It was evident to me that the daughter was mentally disabled in some fashion, and the mother expressed so much love in the conversation, and was constantly giving feedback without getting frustrated, I just sat back in awe. To just have that type of love, knowing that it will never really be reciprocated in the same way is the definition of unconditional. You hear stories about parents who would do anything for their children, and it is an abstract thought until you see it in person. That random act really touched me in a way that strangers don't usually do. I had to sit there for a few minutes just to take it all in.
So I really need to get my act together, my life straightened out, and back on track. Whatever it is, I think I'm pushing myself in a direction that I've never really been serious about, but has been sitting in the back of my mind. Time to bring it front and center.
I mention this because I've been able to see some amazing things recently. I spent Memorial Day weekend at my brother's house, and got to spend a lot of time with my niece and nephew. My other brother spent the weekend with my parents, and so all the grand kids were in the same town for the long weekend, and I (among others), had a wonderful time. My niece is the oldest of the three (she turns 6 in August), and her unconditional love for me created a feeling that is hard to recreate. Now I know this is because I'm the favorite uncle, but I can't help but wonder just how much love exists for her from her parents and grandparents because of that direct connection. I have to say that I am jealous.
Which is probably why I have volunteered to fill in for my other brother's nanny for a week. She had a family emergency, and has to leave the country for two weeks. So I am going to LA (one benefit of unemployment is the ability to drop everything on the spur of the moment) for a week to be the fill in for my 5 month old nephew Sean. I really do love him to death, and am looking forward to trading the Fresno heat for some trips to the beach in Santa Monica. To repeat my theme, Sean's parents just love that little guy like crazy. Which makes visiting them an absolute treat, because it gives me a glimpse of possibilities in my own life, I just need to get busy and start dating, become boyfriend / girlfriend, ask her to marry me, make sure no one chickens out before the big day, and finally start a family. Whew, it's tiring just thinking about it.
The thing that really made me think about unconditional love was something I saw at the food court at Costco this week. Now let me just say that cruising Costco for the food samples, plus a Polish Dog at checkout makes a very filling lunch, but I digress. There was a lady there, about my age, with her mother. It was evident to me that the daughter was mentally disabled in some fashion, and the mother expressed so much love in the conversation, and was constantly giving feedback without getting frustrated, I just sat back in awe. To just have that type of love, knowing that it will never really be reciprocated in the same way is the definition of unconditional. You hear stories about parents who would do anything for their children, and it is an abstract thought until you see it in person. That random act really touched me in a way that strangers don't usually do. I had to sit there for a few minutes just to take it all in.
So I really need to get my act together, my life straightened out, and back on track. Whatever it is, I think I'm pushing myself in a direction that I've never really been serious about, but has been sitting in the back of my mind. Time to bring it front and center.
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